You want to get out of here?  Is this not what you seek?  Oh well, I guess you'de better go on... We were even nice enough to provide you with a nice search box. 

Search the Web.

Welcome to Simp.  What is Simp?  The question is, who is Simp? Are you Simp?  Does Simp stand for simpleton?  Maybe.

Maybe it's just a nice, short, easy to remember domain name, perfectly suited for those boring Wednesday afternoons at the office or at school, when you really can't wait to go home and do more important things such as watch TV in your underwear, or look at those other websites you can't take chances looking at elsewhere.

While we're on the subject of fun, useless, but compelling websites, let us tell you more about the philosophy of Simp.
 

s far back as I can remember, I've always been a rebel.  No, not the type who hasn't got a chance, or throws grenades, or fights the evil galactic empire, or even the type who hasn't got a cause.  I'm talking about the kind of rebel who refuses to accept things as they are prescribed to me, and the kind of rebel who stands for free speech, free time, and free Willy.

When I was little, and I mean little, before I even knew how to walk, I learned to hide the things I loved under other things.  I hid favorite, but crusty and potentially hazardous toys under my crib, then it was  tiny frogs, snakes, and other "not in the house you don't!" creatures, and of course, when school started, smuggling in things and keeping them well hidden proved way more difficult.  I remember an incident that happened in the first grade;  I had brought my favorite Marx Toys plastic Tyrannosaurus Rex to class, and was playing with it on my desk.  The teacher saw me, and quickly confiscated it.  I screamed "Thief! Thief!" and stood up on my chair, and said in my loudest first grader tone, "Who do you think we are? Defenseless squirrels? Give it Back!!!" (Don't ask where the squirrel comparison came from).  I was feeling so proud of myself, well, for about ten seconds that is; you see, it was then I realized that the other kids in my class would rather conform than face the teacher's wrath.  From then on, I learned to keep my mouth shut, and keep my smuggled toys and comic books better hidden.

After that, I never got caught again.  All the way through school, I carefully hid my precious issues of Mad Magazine, Cracked, Crazy, Starlog, Fangoria, and Keyboard, and various collections of Star Wars bubble gum cards and Wacky Packages stickers within special compartments I would build in textbooks, folders, and even in my homeroom desk for those "special inspections"  I never kept anything in my locker since I was always reading, and yes, sometimes even learning at the same time.  I never even did homework at home because I believed it was MY sacred time, and school was over at three o'clock.  Of course, the "sacred time rule" did not apply to school.

Now, I'm paid to create websites which will no doubt cause many other kids and office workers to "waste time" as I did at school.  Ah, if only I had had the luxury of the Internet then...  After all, it's so easy to minimize a window or hit the back button.  You'll see we've added a nice little panic button to this site, just in case... Just remember that many people worked very hard to make you waste time, and this website is dedicated to those who have spent their whole lives researching useless junk in order to make you smile, retch, and even sometimes flunk!

 -The Simp-in-Chief